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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

You Are Not Just a Mother, You Are You First!

Mothers face many challenges in todays world. They carry the responsibility of many roles. Through these roles we become different things to different people. Sometimes we get divided over having a career and having a families or find conflict between the different jobs that we try to do. Making the question Who am I? even harder to answer.

It grows harder because mothers see this little person that looks up at them with innocent trusting eyes, mommy is everything to that little one. She makes the hurt from boo-boos go away with a kiss, chases the monsters from under the bed away, and rocks them after a bad dream. Every mother takes that responsibility and carries it with her no matter where she goes. It is an awesome responsibility of caring for this wonderful little person and being mom is always on the mind. As much as it is wonderful to revel in mommyhood, we still need to remember that being a mother is just one part of us, the more we allow ourselves to see who we are the better examples we can set for our children to leading a balanced life.

As a mother, I have struggled to find my own identity. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a business owner, a sister, a friend..but who am I? It is easy to define yourself by what you do and what you mean to other people. As we take on these different roles our own identity gets blurred. It is harder to make the distinction. Who am I if I am not Logans mom or Bens wife?

Who are you? A wife, a mother, an employee, they are all a part of who we are, but they do not define you. We are the only ones that are able to define who we are. When are we just women? Women that have our own values, ideas, and philosophies, women that are able to embrace their different roles in life, but still are able to maintain there sense of self.

The importance of women defining who they are is giving them a chance to grow as women. To recognize that they need to take off all the different hats that they wear during the day and take time to honor who they are.

The problem is that because they are in so many different roles that they stop seeing themselves separate from them. They stop taking time for themselves, because they are giving so much to everyone else. Does this sound familiar? Have you lost your identity among the different jobs that you do everyday? How do you see yourself?

Here are a few questions that can help you determine if you are defining yourself by what you do instead of who you are:

Do you spend at least an hour a day doing the things that you want to do? (Reading, participating in hobbies, watching your favorite TV program, etc)

When asked to describe yourself do you start with I enjoy or I am a woman that believe/feel.? Or do you say, I am a mother or I am a nurse

Are you able to say no to things that interfere with the things that you want to do? Or that you do not have time for?

Do you feel that your life is in balance? Which means that you get enough time to pursue your own interest instead of just the interest of your children or significant other?

Do you feel that you spend time equally on yourself as you do on others?

If you answered no to any of the questions it is time to get back in touch with yourself. You need to not only stop defining yourself by what you do but you need to spend sometime getting to know who you are.

Here are some tips for you to get in touch with the forgotten woman inside.

Make sure that you spend time perusing your own interests. The problem with defining yourself by what you do is that you dont give yourself time to do what you want to do; your time is spent doing for others. Do something that you have always wanted to do; take a class, start a book club, anything that gives you some time to just do your own thing. Above all make the time to do it! Its ok to do something for yourself.

Say NO frequently! Just because you take on different roles does not mean that you have to do everything for everybody. Recognize when there is something that others could really do for themselves. Do not let yourself be taken advantage of! REMEMBER it is just as much of a benefit for others to learn how to do for themselves as it is to you.

Make sure that you have OFF DUTY time! Just like a conventional job, make sure there is a time of day when you are done. Dont work right up until you go to bed. Give yourself time to unwind, distress, and relax. Wait until the kids are in bed and take a long hot bubble bath. Curl up in your favorite chair with a good book. Meditate or do yoga. Do whatever relaxes you. You need this time to maintain some balance. Because of you multiple roles you are on the clock the majority of the time. You have to have time to distress! Without it you are going to burn out. Visualize your bank account if you keep making withdraws without making a deposit, eventually you are going to just run out of resources. Make sure to take time to revitalize yourself.

I have found that by maintaining my own identity that I am a better mother, wife, daughter, business owner, sister, and friend. It maintains balance in my life because I know that even though I am different things to different people; I know what it means to just be me.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tonya Ramsey is a life coach and owner of Life By Design. She specializing in assisting working mothers find life balance to maintain a healthy and peaceful life. For more information on Tonyas services or to receive a free life coaching session to help you design the life that you want, visit Life By Design web site or send an e-mail. Why juggle your life when you can balance it.

[ copyright 2006 Tonya Ramsey. All Rights Reserved. This article may be freely reproduced as long as the ABOUT THE AUTHOR at the bottom of this article is included unedited. Links must be Active/Linkable]

Extra Long Yoga Mat Bag

The Truth About Refurbished Electronics

We all prefer to purchase new when it comes to, well, just about everything. Unfortunately, though, the luxury of buying a brand new item is something that we are simply not afforded at all times. There are a variety of reasons why, in some instances, we are resigned to purchase used rather than new; money and accessibility being the most obvious points. However, there can be a positive avenue to this, which is, of course, the ability to save money by purchasing a less than new product. And, the benefits of purchasing refurbished items are no more prevalent than they are in the field of refurbished electronics.

It is important to note, right off the bat, which refurbished when it comes to electronic goods does not mean used, old or previously enjoyed. As a matter of fact, the definition of what constitutes a refurbished electronic item has a variety of meanings. A refurbished electronic item can be, for example:

An overstock item that is no longer being produced by the manufacturer

An item whose packaging has been damaged during transport, even though the item itself has not been affected at all and remains in perfect working condition

A product that has only featured in a store for display purposes only

Items that have cosmetic defects (i.e. incorrect color scheme) only, with no issues with quality

When it comes to refurbished electronic goods, such as an iPod, xbox, Playstation or camcorder, anything that isnt new is considered refurbished, and must be sold as such. Because of this, the shopper can easily save hundreds of dollars when purchasing a refurbished item versus buying a new item. In many cases, the refurbished electronic item in question is in just as good of working condition as a brand new electronic item. But, because of certain circumstances, that item is no longer identified as new.

Before some of you thumb your nose at the thought of purchasing a refurbished item, consider this scenario: you are purchasing a used xbox 360 from a friend of yours. There are stains on the console, youre getting the item in a plastic bag, and your friend has a reputation of not being so delicate with his belongings.

Would you purchase that xbox 360, or one that has never been used or opened, but one whose box has a tear in it because it caught on someones watch during handling? Or would you purchase your friends coffee stained version over one whose box was opened because someone simply wanted to see what was inside, and thats all?

And another caveat for purchasing refurbished; while your friend is a stand-up person, he probably wont offer you a manufacturer warranty on the game. Most refurbished electronics still have their warranties intact, so, as a consumer, you are protected.

More and more people, companies and retailers are capitalizing on the value of refurbished electronics. For manufacturers and retailers, its a great way of moving out excess stock and items. And for consumers, refurbished electronics are a fantastic way of getting a high-quality item at an exceptionally low cost.

As with any purchase, due diligence and research is paramount to locating a respectable retailer who can give you the best deal possible when it comes to refurbished electronics. It is no different than, say, purchasing a used car or a pre-owned home. You would never think buying a used car or home is a bad idea, and you would never do it blindly either. The same principle applies to purchasing refurbished electronics. A good idea, when, combined with research, can prove to be a great benefit to the consumer.

With video game consoles becoming more and more expensive, and with more competition to choose from, there needs to be an outlet for people to get what they want without having to exceed their financial considerations. Everyone wants the hottest video game system, MP3 player or video camera out there, but not everyone can afford to purchase them either. For those who cant, there is an option, and that is to purchase a refurbished version of the product. Again, in many cases refurbished does not mean opened, used, enjoyed, repaired or rebuilt. It just means that the item can not by law be defined and sold as a brand new product.

It also means that savvy customers, who dont mind paying a little less, will end up with an exceptional electronic item at an exceptionally low cost.

Mauro Flammini: writer, researcher, affiliate manager and all around good guy!

Meridian Mississippi Yoga Ball

Premiership Transfer Window Review - Part Two

David Walker continues his review of the January transfer window and how the moves will impact each teams success, or survival at the end of the 2005/06 season.

Everton
After spending the early part of the season facing a relegation battle the only reinforcements came in the form of Alan Stubbs, joining from Sunderland for his second spell at the club.

Two players have left the club Marcus Bent to Charlton and Per Kroldrup to Fiorentina. The Danish defender arrived in a 5 million switch from Udinese but returned to Italy for substantially less after making just one league appearance.

At 10 points clear, Everton look safe from the drop but you may be tempted by the 33/1 relegation odds.

Fulham
Fulham are battling against relegation and have made five new signings. Goalkeepers tony Warner and Antti Niemi joined from Cardiff and Southampton respectively while New Zealand international Simon Elliott arrived from Columbus Crew. Defender wayne Bridge and midfielder Michael Brown joined from chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur on loan.

Without an away win all season, Fulhams strength and key to survival lies in their form at Craven Cottage. 26 of the 29 points accumulated have come from home wins and manager Chris Coleman will need to keep up this momentum. Fulham can be backed at 14/1 for relegation.

Liverpool
Third in the table and a favourable draw in the Champions league has seen further recruits arrive at Anfield. Defender Jan Kromkamp arrived in a swap deal from Villarreal which saw Josemi return to Spain while Danish defender Daniel Agger cost 5.8 million from Brondby.

A host of fringe players left on loan deals but all transfers were eclipsed by the return of striker Robbie Fowler, five years after leaving Anfield. Fowler scored 120 goals in 236 premiership matches for the Reds previously and with Manchester United wobbling, Liverpool could eclipse them in second position. They are three points behind in third but have two games in hand. Rafa Benitezs side can be backed at 6/5 to win the premiership in the without Chelsea market.

Manchester City
Following a blistering start to the season, City are sitting comfortably in tenth position. manager Stuart Pearce will not stand for half measures and has motivated his side into three wins out of their last four matches, including a 3-1 derby win over bitter rivals United.

Pearce has boosted the ranks with the 6 million signing of Greek striker Georgios Samaras from Heerenveen after allowing Robbie Fowler to rejoin Liverpool and the loan capture of Espanyol midfielder Alberto Riera. Pearces managerial qualities have not gone unnoticed and he is quoted at 20/1 to succeed Sven Goran Eriksson as the next England boss.

Manchester United
The former premiership powerhouses have been exposed yet again this season as being nowhere near chelsea in terms of results, consistency and strength in depth. However, the Glaziers sanctioned the arrivals of Spartak Moscow defender Nemanja Vidic Spartak for 7 million and 5.5 million signing Patrice Evra.

A dire spell in Europe has seen them with the Carling Cup one of their only chances of silverware this season although Sir Alex Fergusons side are still 5/6 favourites for the premiership without Chelsea. Strike duo Ruud van Nistelrooy is 5/6 and wayne Rooney 10/1 to top the premiership scoring charts.

Middlesbrough
One of the pre season outsiders for a top four position, Middlesbrough are now staring relegation square in the face. Boro have won just once in their last 10 premiership outings and that was away at rock bottom Sunderland.

No players arrived in January although Szilard Nemeth left for Strasbourg. One of the few bright spots, striker Yakubu, can be backed at 16/1 to top the premiership goalscoring chart while speculative punters may fancy the 13/2 on offer of relegation.

newcastle United
manager Graham Souness became the latest premiership managerial casualty after recently losing five of their last six league matches. With just 36 wins in his 83 matches in charge the club are hovering six points above the drop zone.

Big money arrivals Michael Owen and Alberto Luque failied to ignite an expected charge for european football and former West Ham manager Glenn Roeder and Alan Shearer have taken over the reigns temporarily. Bolton manager Sam Allardyce is the 9/2 favourite to take over permanently and despite a poor run of form the Magpies remain 20/1 outsiders for relegation.

The third and final part of the review will look at transfers involving Portsmouth, Sunderland, Tottenham Hotspur, West Bromwich Albion, West Ham United and Wigan Athletic.

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November NFL Thoughts

Picked up pieces from the sports betting weekend. A pro handicapper told me about an old betting angle started back in the 1970s which relates to the mid-point of the nfl season. According to him, people bet on any team that starts the season 2-6 or worse for the rest of the year, and against any team that starts 6-2 or better. This is not a formula for hitting 80% winners the rest of the way, but for sports betting grinders. I don't do that, but I can see reasoning behind the angle. You're going against public perception which means, in theory, youre getting a few extra points each week, as teams that that 2-6 are likely to be big dogs the rest of the way, while currently strong teams like the Colts and Broncos will be getting respect from oddsmakers. Just thought I'd pass that wagering angle along.

The terrell Owens saga is ridiculous. A pampered, problem-child superstar continues to backstab teammates and talk about ME, ME, ME, so the coach throws him off the team. A pat on the back for Andy Reid for making that decision. football is not about ME, it's about teamwork, working hard and working together. owens was suspended for Sunday night's 17-10 loss at Washington, and will remain suspended for three more games without pay. After that, the Eagles plan to deactivate him for the rest of the season. Does anyone recall the TV speech owens gave early in preseason, trying to explain his actions? It was embarrassing. Let's hope owens and his agent aren't dumb enough to go on TV again to try and plead his case.

Athletes wear out their welcome all the time in sports, and most move on to another team for a few years where they often wear out their welcome again. Lost in the shuffle of the Owens' saga is a similar thing that happened in the nfl four years ago. Early in the 2001 season, Patriots All-pro WR Terry Glenn was being a problem child, missing practices and complaining about a variety of topics. Coach Bill Belichick laid down the law and suspended Glenn. At the time it was a surprise, as New England was short on offensive speed. However, the team showed they were better without Glenn, recovering from an 0-2 start and the sideshow antics by winning the super bowl, all without Glenn.

In Cleveland, first-year coach Romeo Crennel has the Browns playing hard. A defensive expert, the Cleveland defense is allowing 17 ppg after allowing 24 per game last season. The offense is still short on talent and plays a conservative, grind-it-out style. Notice that the Browns are 7-1 under the total.

The 3-5 Raiders have had a tough schedule and some bitter defeats, losing at home to KC by 6 when a late drive stalled, and at Philly by 3. Sunday's shocking 27-23 loss at Kansas City on the final play was easily the hardest to take. "This is about as bitter a defeat as you could have," said oakland quarterback Kerry Collins afterward. It's the type of loss that could break the back of a team. watch for any finger-pointing or complaining by Oakland players over the next few weeks, especially Randy Moss, who hasn't spoken to the press since early September, which is probably a blessing.

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